My Bonds.
Private reflections after your shared sessions, helping you notice the reactions, beliefs and strategies that surfaced for you.
My Reactions.
When conversations get difficult, familiar reactions can take over. We may criticise, become defensive, create distance, or shut down, making it harder to hear what the other person is really trying to say.
My Beliefs.
Behind many of our reactions are stories we've learned to tell ourselves. Over time those stories become beliefs, and beliefs quietly shape how we see ourselves, other people, and the world.
My Strategies.
The beliefs we carry can shape how we navigate life. Over time, we develop strategies for dealing with uncertainty, getting what we need, and finding our way through difficult situations.
When conversations get difficult.
Check out out blogs where we explore communication patterns that can appear when conversations become difficult. Drawing on Gottman’s Four Horsemen framework, the we look at why noticing four specific reactions matters for the longevity of relationships.
What are core beliefs?
Head over to our blogs to learn more about where the idea of core beliefs comes from, how it is used in cognitive therapy, and how becoming aware of the stories we carry can give us space to question them.
You are not your pattern.
Check out our blogs where we explore these recurring patterns and strategies through an Adlerian lens, why they can be useful in one situation and limiting in another, and what becomes possible when we see them as flexible patterns rather than fixed personality traits.
Frequently asked questions.
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A guided space to practice difficult conversations with someone you're close to, with gentle guidance while you talk and your own private reflection afterward. It's built on Gottman Institute research, and it isn't live yet. Learn more and get notified →
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My Reactions draws on the Gottman Institute's research identifying four patterns that most reliably predict conflict: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Each has a specific antidote: gentle start-up, building a culture of appreciation, taking responsibility, and self-soothing. Your coach guides you toward the antidote in the moment, and your private reflection afterward shows what your own patterns looked like.
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No. My Bonds gives you one shared conversation but two private reports. Whoever you talk with never sees what's in your reflection, and nothing in either report ever characterizes the other person
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Soil looks for recurring language, assumptions and ways of responding in your conversations, then reflects possible patterns back to you.
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Yes. My Bonds works for any two people in a relationship, a partner, a family member, or a close friend, as long as you're both using Soil Health yourselves.